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<h1>
    THE SIMPSONS
</h1>

<div class="quote">
    <p class="quote">&nbsp;</p>
    <p class="quote">&nbsp;</p>
    <p class="quote">Look, I really hope I don't need to mention band members here. And I really, <em>really</em> don't want to make South Park versions of the Simpsons because the results would be awful.</p>
    <p class="quote">&nbsp;</p>
</div>

<p class="albumList">
  <a href="#blues">The Simpsons Sing The Blues</a><br />
  <a href="#springfield">Songs In The Key Of Springfield</a><br />
  <a href="#album">The Yellow Album</a><br />
  <a href="#simpsons">Go Simpsonic With The Simpsons</a><br />
</p>

<p>I don't find it fair to maintain this page as enthusiastic as it used to be. So, yes, this introduction has been rewritten, and for a very simple reason: I can't stand The Simpsons at all anymore. Yes, yes, I know there is a large group of "older fans" who can't stand the latest seasons anymore, and just hope that the show would be at least half as good as it once was, or just end as soon as possible. That's not my case. It's been ages since I last watched The Simpsons, and I've watched way too few new episodes to make my mind about that. You know what's my case? I'm just sick of the show. Not just the new episodes: the whole thing. It's not funny anymore, and in fact, I wonder if it has <em>ever</em> been funny, and being the little idiot I was before I turned 18, I found it excellent for some stupid reason. The Simpsons, to me, deserves to be buried together with my ridiculous teenagerhood; I can't stand talking about it, or even thinking that it's <em>still</em> being made. To me, that's analog to the Vatican keeping Pope John Paul II alive at any cost, in spite of his poor health, just to keep him "there". Just to warn you, that didn't happen. I'm just imagining a scenario here that's every bit as surreal and awful as The Simpsons still existing.</p>

<p>It might be plain disillusion, but I don't know. Maybe it's some kind of withdrawal, because it's been so long since I've watched any episode. But I just think I couldn't care less about the show simply because I grew out of it. And yes, I'm aware of how little plausible it sounds to "grow out" of The Simpsons and "grow into" children's shows like Bob the Builder and Jakers! The Adventures Of Piggley Winks. But when you think of how little plausible it is for a children's show like one of those to be more mature, more constructive, more interesting and <em>way</em> funnier than The Simpsons, you realise what The Simpsons has become, and maybe even what is has always been. And I have no shame whatsoever in admitting that I'm a huge fan of those shows, as well as the super quirky Little Robots, the insanely intelligent Peep &amp; The Big Wide World, and the unspeakable phenomenon that is The Backyardigans. And The Simpsons, to me, is history. And keep in mind that I was utterly fanatic about Lisa Simpson, to the point of placing her as a central element in the 75-minute musical piece I wrote. Yes, if you ever wondered, the "Yellow Girl" is Lisa! And the titles of the four "parts", Yellow, Red, Black and White, are her colours! In a way, I still think she's an awesome, brilliant character, but I don't want to be pathetic enough to think of her as something "outside" of the show. I'm not that partial.</p>

<p>I'm still keeping this page here, though. And why would I? Well, because <strong>The Simpsons Sing The Blues</strong> and <strong>The Yellow Album</strong> are <em>music albums</em>, not soundtracks to the show. And yes, that implies that there's no reason whatsoever to keep the two "soundtrack" CDs here - I never gave them ratings, anyway.</p>

<p><a href="mailto:sirmustapha@gmail.com">Mail your ideas</a>!</p>

<hr />

<h2 id="blues">The Simpsons Sing The Blues (1990)</h2>
<p class="medium">
  Best song: <big>God Bless The Child</big>
</p>
<div class="medium">
  Track list:
</div>
<ol class="trackList">
  <li>Do The Bartman <span class="good">+</span></li>
  <li>School Day <span class="good">+</span></li>
  <li><span class="good">Born Under A Bad Sign ++</span></li>
  <li><span class="good">Moanin' Lisa Blues ++</span></li>
  <li>Deep, Deep Trouble <span class="good">+</span></li>
  <li><span class="good">God Bless The Child ++</span></li>
  <li><span class="good">I Love To See You Smile ++</span></li>
  <li>Springfield Soul Stew <span class="good">+</span></li>
  <li><span class="good">Look At All Those Idiots ++</span></li>
  <li><span class="good">Sibling Rivalry ++</span></li>
</ol>

<p>Originally, this album had the highest rating it could get, raking exactly next to other favourites of mine like <strong>Queen II</strong>, <strong>Equinoxe</strong>, <strong>Tubular Bells</strong> and <strong>Bob The Builder: The Album</strong>. And I don't deny that, one day, I like this album that much. I really did! And to be fair, I still keep some of that feeling in me. What happened here is that I'm unsure of giving it the full rating, now that the NEU! ratings system has been put to practice, and I'm allowed to give more balanced ratings to albums. Yes, it isn't because I "dislike" the album. No, I still love it. But does it really deserve a 15? Or to be more specific, does it <em>really</em> deserves to gain two points more than Men At Work's <strong>Business As Usual</strong>? Of course, an easy solution would be to give Men At Work's album a big 14 and keep it like that, but then I'd have to reconsider <em>other</em> albums as well, that are already in proper place. So no, I won't do that, and this album will keep a 14. Which isn't at all bad, mind you. You can think of the 15 as a simple "variation" of a 14, that is: a 14 with more spice. And the 16, well... there are only <em>two</em> albums in this whole site that get a 16. and the rating just exists to express that "I can't put in numbers how AWESOME this album is" feeling I get.</p>

<p>Which isn't the case here. I <em>can</em> express the feeling I have. And with a bit of a stretch, I can even express the feeling I had the first time I listened to this. See, I got the album expecting just a comedy act, and I wanted to have it just to keep an "item" of a collection that I'll never make. And what I truly got was much more than that. I mean, how could ever imagine that the <em>music</em> in that album would be so damn good? On first listen, I was really excited. On second listen, I was floored. The album was brilliant, funny, clever, even emotional at times (!!!). And it worked because it showcased the characters' personalities very well. Each song is like a portrait, you know, and it was like an "extension" of the show: instead of acting behind a glass screen, they jumped out of your speakers and sang right there, in your house. That, to me, was the coolest thing about it. The characters were <em>close</em> to me. They felt real. The album was a revelation to me, and the state of euphoria I was left in lingered for a long time. And I still have the taste of that feeling somewhere in the back of my mind.</p>

<p><em>Nowadays</em>, well... Even after coming to the realisation that The Simpsons means nothing to me, I put the CD on and was, once again, thrilled and entertained by it. Why? Because, like I said, this <em>isn't the TV show</em>. The characters in this album are "real", you know, exactly because of that proximity to the listener, whereas on the TV show, they are distant, intangible. The episodes are parallel to our lives; the album is not. And I don't think I'm being incoherent or hypocritical by saying that. It makes sense to me, you know. I can't even say that liking this album is "nostalgia" for a time when the show used to be good. I don't associate the album with "the past", even because I only acquired it more than a full decade after it was released, and many years after I became a fan. To me, the album is timeless. In relation to the show, that is.</p>

<p>As for the songs themselves, I assume you realised by now that if the songs weren't all that good, I wouldn't like the album this much. The songs are great! As in, more than good! To give a brief explanation here, exactly half of them are covers, and the other half are originals. As for the syle of music, well, it's faithful to the album title: there's plenty of Blues in the record, in several different forms. Of course, Bart's two songs aren't Blues at all: 'Do The Bartman' is a funky groove, with Bart rapping on top of it. Very entertaining! The song is <em>very similar</em> to the kind of stuff Michael Jackson used to do by that time. In fact, it's even <em>identical</em>. And that's no accident: the song is credited to one Bryan Loren, which reportedly is just a pseudonym of Michael Jackson himself. Remember that his name wasn't credited in the episode he guest starred in. That theory meets with the idea that Nancy Cartwright's "eat your heart out, Michael" was improvised at the time, because he was there, in the studio. Whatever. I'm not a Michael Jackson fan, but I like that song. The other track is 'Deep, Deep Trouble', which is more like Rap and less like Michael Jackson. It's also fun, with entertaining lyrics, and a more... um, authentic Bart performance. You know, those are good songs, even if they deviate a little from the album's main mood. But I have to be honest and say they're nowhere near being my favourites on the record. It's not because I dislike Bart, or anything. The style just isn't <em>that</em> appealing to me. It's clear that those songs were recorded to be hit-singles, not to fit into the album.</p>

<p>The other songs tend to be better. The remaining three originals are all excellent. 'Look At All Those Idiots' is the only song featuring characters other than the Simpsons themselves; namely Mr. Burns and his assistant, Smithers. It's just brilliant, really. The lyrics and dialogues between the two characters couldn't possibly be any better - even if some people might find the "breakdown" joke way too obvious. 'Sibling Rivalry' is quite unbelievable, creating an overblown, operatic masterpiece out of dozens of completely different elements. It's pretty much like Gabriel-era Genesis gone all wrong. A Lisa and Bart duo couldn't be much better than this: catchy, unforgettable and exciting. The last original is 'Moaning Lisa Blues', which is pretty much what the title says. Notice that the song is different than the song on the actual episode: the melody is different, and this version has more verses. Musically, it's one of the most (if not the most) hardcore Blues performances here, with a really mean band playing with Lisa. Obviously she not only sings (what a performance!), but does a sax solo, too. I really like the way the lyrics came out, sounding every bit as "mature" as a child can be ("I've been down so low / If I cheered up, I'd still be depressed!").</p>

<p>But as far as Lisa goes, her best performance, in my opinion, is in the cover of Billie Holliday's 'God Bless The Child'. And of course, being the best Lisa performance in the album kind of implies that the song's the best song in it, as well. Maybe it doesn't necessarily <em>imply</em> it, but in this case, it kind of does. The rendition couldn't be any more adorable than it is, counting the "spoken word" intro and all. No synthetic sounds? That's kind of like Queen, isn't it? Though there's a bit misconception of "synthetic sounds", since there's clearly an electric keyboard being played. And I still consider it as "synthetic sound", even if it's played by a person. But that probably wasn't what she meant. She was talking about "live musicians", anyway, so that's it. The sax duet with Bleedin' Gums Murphy was the perfect final touch, too. Just perfect! As for the other covers, 'Born Under A Bad Sign' is my second favourite, with Homer throwing a <em>fabulous</em> performance. I've never been a raving Homer fan, but this song deserves all kinds of praises. 'I Love To See You Smile' is just brilliant, and works <em>perfectly</em> for Homer and Marge. The other two covers don't get to being all that good, though. Chuck Berry's 'School Day' brings Buster Poindexter to sing along with Bart (yep, you read that right), and while it sounds good, something about that performance tells me it could have used a bit more energy. And 'Springfield Soul Stew' features mainly Marge listing the "ingredients" to the "recipe". Yeah, it works, but I would have appreciated it if Marge was featured in a more interesting, entertaining song. It sounds like filler, and makes Marge look like she's there just because she <em>needs</em> to be there. Either way, I still prefer Viv Stanshall on <strong>Tubular Bells</strong>.</p>

<p>The record steps down from the "15" because, well, looking at it coldly, it could have been better. But the entertainment value is way too big to make me give it less than a 14, in the end. This record is entirely enjoyable, in spite of the weaker bits. And yes, it clearly looks like the makers of the record truly put a lot of care and effort into it, so it deserves praise because of that.</p>

<p>Oh, who am I kidding? <em><big>I'm giving it a 14 because I like Bob The Builder's album more than it.</big></em> Now deal with it! You can't put a square peg in a round hole, and if you do, then you're doing it wrong!</p>

<p class="ratingHeader">
  Rating:
</p>

<p class="rating">
  <big>Fun factor:  <strong>15/15</strong></big> - Like I said, it's highly enjoyable!<br />
  <big>Resonance:   <strong>15/15</strong></big> - Well, it's enjoyable <em>because</em> it grips me so much.<br />
  <big>Originality: <strong>14/15</strong></big> - Um... it is original. Every bit as original as a Simpsons record can be.<br />
  <big>Richness:    <strong>14/15</strong></big> - Lacking a bit in places, you know.<br />
  <big>Solidness:   <strong>15/15</strong></big> - It's fantastic <em>almost</em> all the way through. Some spots are a bit less than that.
</p>

<p class="ratingFinale">
  Total: <img src="images/14.png" alt="14" />
</p>

<p><a href="mailto:sirmustapha@gmail.com">Mail</a>, <a href="mailto:sirmustapha@gmail.com">Mail</a>, Rock 'n' Roll!</p>

<hr />

<h2 id="album">The Yellow Album (1998)</h2>
<p class="medium">
  Best song: <big>Twenty-Four Hours A Day</big>
</p>
<div class="medium">
  Track list:
</div>
<ol class="trackList">
  <li>Love?</li>
  <li>Sisters Are Doin' It For Themselves <span class="good">+</span></li>
  <li>Funny How Time Slips Away <span class="good">+</span></li>
  <li><span class="good">Twenty-Four Hours A Day ++</span></li>
  <li>The Ten Commandments Of Bart</li>
  <li>I Just Can't Help Myself</li>
  <li>She's Comin' Out Swingin' <span class="good">+</span></li>
  <li><span class="bad">Anyone Else &times;&times;</span></li>
  <li>Every Summer With You <span class="good">+</span></li>
  <li>Hail To Thee, Kamp Krusty</li>
</ol>

<p>The second Simpsons album took bloody five years to be released, merely due to complications and doubts about how well was Simpsons merchandising <em>really</em> going at that time. But the release of the first "soundtrack" CD, <strong>Songs In The Key Of Springfield</strong>, motivated Rhino Records to put the album out. And was it a good deal, after all? I'd say yes... No, I mean, I'd say "yes...", you see, a "yes" with a bit of doubt. And why? Because <strong>The Yellow Album</strong> is definitely inferior to <strong>The Simpsons Sing The Blues</strong>. Be aware that beating that album is a <em>damn</em> difficult job, but even still, <strong>The Yellow Album</strong> leaves a lot to be desired. I think I'll end up having to list the complaints, so that I can put fowards my point. So let's go by parts:</p>

<p>Firstly, if you thought Marge was neglected in the first album, look away. Really, stay away. Approach with care. Marge appears in a whooping <em>one</em> track, and it's a duo with Homer. The idea is basically the same as 'I Love To See You Smile', only with a different style of music. And it's not as beautiful, yes. 'Every Summer With You' <em>is</em> a nice song, but the fact that Marge is only present here is one <em>big</em> bummer. Maybe there were actual  problems with Julie Kavner, or something? Well, in that case, I DON'T CARE.</p>

<p>Secondly, just listening to the album once will show you the makers of the album were aiming towards a bit more "diversity" with it. It's not focused on Blues anymore, and there's a bit more of stuff here. So, if that's the case, why the MUCK is Bart <em>still</em> singing <em>only</em> rap? I mean, we have another two solo Bart songs here, and both are rap. What about some, um, "diversity" here, guys? And the songs aren't even all that great. 'The Ten Commandments Of Bart' is awfully long and awfully uncatchy. There are only a few good bits in it, but I need more than that to compensate for an idea as clich&eacute; as "Ten Commandments". "Thou shalt have fun"? Woooh! Who would ever have guessed! 'Love?', at least, has a finer set of lyrics, and Bart's delivery is just perfect for it. But the chorus sounds like it was especially designed to be the most unexcitingly unoriginal choruses ever written. "What's this word called love"? Man!</p>

<p>Thirdly, well, some songs here just have no reason to exist. You know, 'Sibling Rivalry' was in theory and practice the <em>perfect</em> Bart and Lisa song, and here they try again with 'Anyone Else'. Ok, pretend for one minute that I don't mind <em>at all</em> the unbelievably cheesy melody and the even cheesier instrumentation and arrangement they created for that sappy, sticky ballad. But just tell me why would they need to set those awfully bitter, cruel lyrics to a "cutesy" melody that sucks any possible comedy value from it? Irony? There isn't any! There isn't anything fun and/or likeable about this track! It's not even a question of "hating" it: the song inflicts pain upon me. I can't stand it at all. 'I Just Can't Help Myself' is nowhere near as offensive, fortunately, but it's just more generic rap. This time, Bart shares verses with Lisa and Homer. I reckon Homer has a great moment in it, but I have <em>no idea whatsoever</em> of what I'm supposed to get from Lisa's verse. I assumed she'd have something interesting and intelligent to say on a few rap verses, but the lyricwriter had the odd idea that she'd just prefer to stick to brilliant lines like "a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bike". I suppose a woman needs creativity like a bike needs a fish, in that case.</p>

<p>Oh, well. If I'm to stop complaining, I can name the best song in the album, which just isn't the best song in the album: it rivals the best tracks on <strong>The Simpsons Sing The Blues</strong>! It's Apu's solo spot, 'Twenty-Four Hours A Day'. <em>That</em> is pure brilliance, both in the lyrics themselves and in the way the whole song is executed, with the spoken word bits, the restless dancey groove that pushes it forwards and in the changes into different "sections", like a slower, "touching" middle break and a build-up with Indian motifs, Apu's favourite part of the song: "my great aunt Pirani used to dance to this!". It's fabulously hilarious, quite possibly even better than 'Look At All Those Idiots'. Oh, yes, and there are some very good Lisa spots, too. She sings 'Sisters Are Doin' It For Themselves' with Ann and Nancy Wilson, and while it disturbs me a bit why they turned Lisa into a feminist freak in this record, the song is just fine and dandy. And the song itself isn't really "feminist freak" worthy, really. 'She's Comin' Out Swingin'' features George Clinton's P-Funk All Stars (yes, <em>that</em> George Clinton), and I think I like it more than I should. Well, the band is more than solid, and the music sounds alright. Lisa enters as a "guest of honour" about halfway into the song, and it's a whole lot of fun listening to how it goes. It's long, but worth hearing. As for Homer, he brings the greatest surprise in the record: performing Willie Nelson's 'Funny How Time Slips Away' with Linda Ronstadt. I have to say it's one of the least Simpsony things ever put on one of their albums, but... wow, does it sound great. The song itself? Fabulous. Linda Ronstadt? No comments. And Homer's performance is so genuinely good it's scary. Go figure!</p>

<p>To close everything on a majorly optimistic tone, I find 'Hail To Thee, Kamp Krusty' one big disappointment. You know, I was expecting a bit more than that, featuring the whole cast, and all. It's a wasted opportunity, and the only more or less worthwhile bit is at the end, when Bart incites everyone to chant "I hate Kamp Krusty!" and all. Worth hearing the entire track for? I guess not. And all in all, I don't know if I would really recommend this album to everyone, even though some people might be inclined to like it more than <strong>The Simpsons Sing The Blues</strong>. I'm not one of those, though, and that's all that matters.</p>

<p class="ratingHeader">
  Rating:
</p>

<p class="rating">
  <big>Fun factor:  <strong>9/10</strong></big>  - A stepdown from its predecessor.<br />
  <big>Resonance:   <strong>9/10</strong></big>  - It's not as <em>fun</em>, you see. But that doesn't mean it <em>isn't</em> fun.<br />
  <big>Originality: <strong>9/10</strong></big>  - Hmm... er, well, some of these songs leave a bit to be desired.<br />
  <big>Richness:    <strong>9/10</strong></big>  - Read above.<br />
  <big>Solidness:   <strong>9/10</strong></big>  - It isn't totally consistent.
</p>

<p class="ratingFinale">
  Total: <strong class="grade">9</strong>
</p>

<p>Ideas? Suggestions? <a href="mailto:sirmustapha@gmail.com">Mail me</a>, why!</p>

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